So the biggest thing that has happened in the past couple months was that I had a miscarriage. I wasn't far along and I really wasn't heartbroken about it or anything I just hadn't felt like talking about it. It happened at the end of September. I was only 6 weeks and I had literally found out the day before the miscarriage. Really only the day of the miscarriage was really hard. Surprisingly it was pretty painful and it took quite a few days to stop hurting. After that it was smooth sailing and it actually really helped me get motivated to get back in shape. So in a lot of ways I am grateful for the experience. Even though Jax's pregnancy was really hard and all the fears about his birth defect after he was born were really difficult I wouldn't trade any of those experiences.
It's a little strange that something like this can completely change your perspective. I have also been struggling with depression since I had an IUD (I can't handle hormones at all). Also really strange but the miscarriage helped me a lot with my perspective concerning the depression. It snapped me right out of it. I just decided that I had, had enough of being down. I also wanted to get pregnant again and knew that it wouldn't be good if I was still feeling as down as I had been.
Sorry this is such a short post, there has been a lot of other stuff going on but I kinda need to go to bed so this will have to be it for now. I just want to say that I know Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us and that sometimes even giving you a trial can help you get past other trials. I am so grateful for the gospel, and my family.
Let me know if any of you have struggled with these things. It feels great to talk especially to people who know what you're going through.
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