Birth Defect, and other worries

My Child has a birth defect.
I know I don't talk about this much
but I am really struggling with this right now.

Jax is missing his pinky and ring finger on his right hand.
He has a dislocated radius also on his right arm.
His whole right arm is also a lot smaller than his left.

On top of all that he also has seizures.
Like a lot of them.
He had an MRI and EEG on Tuesday.
It was very stressful and scary seeing him being put under
and having machines breath for him.

We haven't gotten the results but unfortunately
I am freaking and even though everything could be
ok all I can think about is all the different reasons he
could be having the seizures.

In utero stroke
Epilepsy
Nerve damage
Or unknown.

The really frustrating thing is that the doctor may or may not call.
They won't call if everything is fine but I won't really be at ease until the end of next week.
If they call then things really, really aren't right.
Either way it's a terrible thing to go through.

I hate just using the blog to vent but I just don't know what else to do.
I'd rather not be upset about this anymore.
Here's to hoping that I can just except whatever happens and be ok with it.

Sincerely,
The mom that just can't stop worrying.

What I Want For My Birthday!

All the fun things I want for my birthday! 

Yes, most of these things I will not receive but a girl can dream!

1. This pillow 

2. Someone else to clean my house!

3. To get over my cold!

4. To Pass my last class for my Associate's degree!

5. All the Harry Potter books

6. All the Hunger Games books. 

7. You know what, just give me a fully stocked library please!

8. To go to Jesterz

9. Building supplies so I can make bookshelves.

10. Chalkboard paint for those bookshelves.

11. A day to read, yes, just read!

Well I'm sure I've bored you all to tears but since it's coming in like 2 days I thought I'd share 

all the things I won't get. 

It's fun and cathartic I think to actually write down what you really want. 

I definitely recommend it.